Archive for September, 2010
10 Classic TV Robots
Wednesday, September 29th, 2010
Robots have been a staple of science-fiction and other literary works dating back to the late 19th century, so it’s no wonder they’ve played such a big role on TV. Interestingly, most of the robots who made an impact on pop culture were featured on series that aired between the 1950s and ’70s, when robots were still outlandish enough to be considered completely futuristic. But now that they’re being built to dance, play music, and clean house, they don’t pack the same far-future punch they used to. At any rate, the robots on this list were and are some of the best ever brought to the small screen, from the niche favorites to the characters that everyone still knows.
- Rosey the Robot Maid, “The Jetsons”: Rosey joined the Jetson home in the series’ first episode, which aired in September 1962. A mix of willing helper and put-upon servant, she was a sarcastic comic relief in an animated sitcom that felt a little too closely modeled on its real-life counterparts. Still, she and the rest of the show proved so popular that the original 24 episodes ran in syndication for decades.
- Robot B-9, “Lost in Space”: Insert your own “Danger!” jokes here: Robot B-9, often simply referred to as “The Robot,” spent most of the three-season run of “Lost in Space” shouting for young Will Robinson to just once watch where he’s going. He had a similar design to Robby the Robot, which debuted in Forbidden Planet and was cycled among various TV series for years, and like Robby, B-9 appeared in a few other places when his original series ended. His presence in pop culture is unshakeable, as evidenced by the fact that you got the joke in the first sentence without explanation.
- The Cylons, “Battlestar Galactica”: The Cylons have vastly different looks and abilities between the original “Battlestar Galactica” and its 2004 reboot. They started out as brain-dead toasters, but the new series gave them the ability to create different humanoid versions and engage in some questionable mythology on their journey toward universal domination. One thing’s for certain, though: robots have never been hotter.
- Twiki and Dr. Theopolis, “Buck Rogers in the 25th Century”: The 1979 TV version of “Buck Rogers” was pretty corny, an image that wasn’t helped by robot characters like Twiki and Dr. Theopolis. Twiki didn’t do much but wander around like a lost sidekick, and he wore the smaller robot, Dr. Theopolis, attached to his chest. It was Theo’s job to help Buck fit in after arriving in the future after 500 years of suspended animation. The duo was created as a knock-off of C-3PO and R2-D2 from Star Wars — one short, one erudite — but with less creativity and a smaller budget.
- KITT, “Knight Rider”: To this day, children of the 1980s dream of owning a talking Pontiac Firebird. Knight Industries Two Thousand, better known as KITT, was the gadget-filled car that let Michael Knight fight crime and seduce women with equally improbable skill. Full of tricks, impossible to kill, and always there with a wry response, the car was a boy’s dream.
- Optimus Prime, “Transformers”: Decades before he was a character in a pair of bombastic Michael Bay movies, Optimus Prime was just a toy being shoe-horned into a cartoon by a corporation looking to goose their sales. Ah, youth. Optimus was the leader of the Autobots, who are eternally at war with the Decepticons, and they’re all a bunch of giant alien robots who turn into cars and planes to blend in on Earth. His character’s so imposing in the new films that it’s easy to forget he started out as a simple cab-over truck with bright red and blue panels and not much else. Again, he’s the one Transformer that everyone can easily name and recognize, making him the biggest thing to come out of the show.
- Bender, “Futurama”: Bender — or, if you want, Bender Bending Rodriguez — is the foul-mouthed, booze-fueled bending unit on “Futurama.” The geek-friendly and cult-favorite series ran from 1999-2003 before releasing a few direct-to-DVD movies and then returning with new episodes in 2010, and Bender’s position as a fan favorite is definitely one of the things that helped keep the show alive. Even on a show packed with jokes, he’s got some of the best lines, and his unique shape is recognizable even to non-fans.
- Mecha-Streisand, “South Park”: Matt Stone and Trey Parker have left no celebrity untouched on “South Park,” so by their standards, turning Barbra Streisand into a crowd-slaughtering robot isn’t that bad. She shows up in the first season after taking a relic from the boys and turning into a giant robot, only to be defeated when Robert Smith of The Cure turns into a giant moth monster and fights her. Happily for viewers (probably less so for Streisand), the character returned in the epic 200th episode of the series, decked out with new weapons.
- Buffybot, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”: It’s tough to pick just one robot from Joss Whedon’s cult hit — John Ritter was pretty creepy as an android/stepdad-type guy — but the Buffybot wins for being an example of how inventive and playful the show could be, and how good it was at mining situations for equal parts humor and despair. Modeled after Buffy, the Buffybot was designed as a pleasure toy (yeesh) before the good guys reprogrammed it to be a helper when the real Buffy was incapacitated by death. She only showed up a few times, but was a solid addition to a sprawling fictional world. (Also, I tried to find a video of Buffybot, but all I found were really uncomfortable and sad fanvids, so just enjoy this generic clip instead.)
- Tom Servo and Robot T. Crew, “Mystery Science Theater 3000″: Have there ever been two funnier robots? The answer you’re looking for is no, not at all. The wisecracking robots of “Mystery Science Theater 3000″ were the ideal comic foils for Joel Hodgson and later Mike Nelson as they riffed their way through some of the worst movies ever made. The jokes come so fast that you can’t get them all in one sitting. There are tons of DVDs available and plenty of clips floating around online, so if you’re new to MST3K or just need a pick-me-up while you’re waiting on 5 p.m., have a look:
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10 “Futurama” Inventions That Should Be Real
Thursday, September 16th, 2010
Good news, everyone! These magical devices are coming soon to a store near you! Okay, that’s a lie. You’d need a What-If Machine to see what life would be like if you could outfit yourself with these awesome “Futurama” inventions. Still, it’s fun to dream. The animated cult classic, now resurrected on Comedy Central, is rightly praised for its comic creativity, and these gadgets are perfect examples of the show’s sci-fi-flavored wit and humor. And yes, they’re still just fictional at this point, but with power laces one step closer to reality, it’s tempting to think that these inventions aren’t far behind.
- The What-If Machine: Professor Farnsworth’s What-If Machine first appeared in “Anthology of Interest I” as a cute way of forwarding the plot and allowing the characters to watch a series of stories imagining what would happen if their lives were different. It’s a gag device used to let the writers tell out-of-continuity stories, but it’d be a fantastic device to have in real life. Jobs and relationships would become zero-risk enterprises.
- The Time Machine That Only Goes Forward: In “The Late Philip J. Fry,” the professor takes Fry and Bender on a journey in his time machine. The catch: it only goes forward in time. The mishap sends them skipping into the future in hopes of finding a machine that goes backward, only to discover that if they go far enough, the universe dies and then starts up again, putting them back where they started. This would be fantastic for checking out how things go in the future, then going around the horn into the past to fix your mistakes.
- The Smell-o-Scope: The professor’s giant Smell-o-Scope can be used to smell odors from very far away, including on another planet. It first appeared in “A Big Piece of Garbage,” alerting the crew to a giant garbage ball on a collision course with Earth, and later showed up in “A Clone of My Own” when the gang used it to find the professor after he’s taken to the hidden retirement home. The real-world implications of the Smell-o-Scope are pretty dangerous, though it would be interesting to smell what’s happening in other countries.
- The Death Clock: One of the professor’s more overlooked inventions, the Death Clock is just what it sounds like: a device designed to let a person know how much time they have left to live. A real-world Death Clock would present its share of philosophical problems, but it would still be amazing to know just how much time you have to live your life to its fullest. Then again, knowing the exact date might make people lazy until their appointed time. Decisions, decisions.
- The Mind-Switcher: Professor Farnsworth’s mind-switcher lets him and Amy swap bodies for a while, but the catch is it can’t be used twice on the same pair, leading to a chain of switches to get everyone’s consciousness back in the right head. Catches aside, it’s a fun idea for an invention that’s popped up in movies for years. As long as you had extra bodies willing to volunteer to help get everyone straightened out in the end, it would be pretty freeing to try life as someone else for a day.
- The Electronium Hat: The electronium hat uses energy gathered from sunspots to stimulate radiation and funnel it into the brain, thereby juicing up cognitive ability. Short version: it lets animals talk. The hat was in part a joke by the writers about the outlandish sci-fi contraptions of other TV series and movies, but it’s still a fascinating idea.
- The Flabo Dynamic Suit: When Hermes competes in the Olympics, Professor Farnsworth builds him a special suit designed to slim him down and relocate his center of gravity, making him a better runner and stronger athlete. I would pay no small amount of money for a real version of this suit, which I would then give to my high school self using a round-the-bend trip in the professor’s time machine.
- The Relative Box: This simple invention only requires finger contact to determine if two people are related. The professor used it in the pilot episode to learn that Fry was his distant uncle. The real-life benefits are easy to see: paternity suits would be resolved easier than traffic disputes, plus it would let people who were adopted verify their birth parents. How is this not real already?
- The F-Ray: The professor’s F-Ray is more powerful than an X-ray because it can see through all objects, including metal, though the trade-off is a high risk of radiation fallout. (Hey, you gotta break a few eggs.) The criminal and law-enforcement opportunities are equally enticing. Who doesn’t want to be able to see through walls?
- The Clone-O-Mat: Professor Farnsworth’s cloning machine is a dream invention, capable of creating genetic copies of people and animals. The real-world applications would be startling: people could grow spare parts or whole doubles, leading to some ethically murky areas. On the show, the machine’s use brings its own ups and downs. It’s responsible for the creation of Cubert, but also plays a role in “Jurassic Bark,” which packs the saddest ending of any TV episode ever. Maybe it’s best for this one to stay a fantasy.
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